Shari Jordan: Jeffrey Dahmer’s Stepmother and Her Life Story

Shari Jordan is best known as the second wife of Lionel Dahmer and the stepmother of Jeffrey Dahmer, one of the most notorious criminals in American history. Despite that connection, Shari lived a largely private life and rarely sought the spotlight. She stood by Lionel for more than four decades, navigating unimaginable circumstances with a quiet resolve that few outsiders ever got to witness up close.

She passed away on January 13, 2023, in Seville, Ohio. She was 81 years old.

Early Life

Shari was born Sharian Virginia Shinn on January 21, 1941, in Columbus, Ohio. She was the daughter of Howard M. and Olive Jean Miller Jordan. Details about her childhood and education haven’t been widely documented, which is consistent with the private life she maintained throughout her years.

What’s clear is that she grew up in Ohio and remained in the state for most of her life. Before meeting Lionel Dahmer, Shari lived a quiet existence far removed from the public attention that would eventually find her.

Marriage to Lionel Dahmer

Shari married Lionel Dahmer in 1978, shortly after his divorce from his first wife, Joyce Flint. Lionel, a research chemist, had two sons from his first marriage: Jeffrey, who was around 18 at the time, and David, who was about 12.

By marrying Lionel, Shari stepped into a family that was already dealing with its share of difficulties. Jeffrey had begun struggling with alcohol use during his teenage years, and the divorce between Lionel and Joyce had been contentious. Shari took on the role of stepmother to both boys, though Jeffrey was soon off on his own while David eventually moved with his biological mother.

Despite everything that would follow, the marriage between Shari and Lionel lasted more than 44 years. Neighbors and acquaintances have described them as a close couple who leaned on each other through extraordinarily difficult times.

The Dahmer Family

In July 1991, Jeffrey Dahmer was arrested in Milwaukee after one of his intended victims escaped and flagged down police. The investigation revealed that Jeffrey had committed 17 murders between 1978 and 1991. He was convicted and sentenced to multiple life terms in prison in 1992.

The arrest and trial thrust the entire Dahmer family into an intense and unwelcome media glare. For Shari, who’d been Jeffrey’s stepmother for over a decade at that point, the revelations were devastating. She and Lionel were forced to reconcile the person they’d known at family gatherings with the crimes being described in courtrooms and on television screens worldwide.

It’s worth noting that Shari didn’t have a parental role in Jeffrey’s formative years. She entered his life when he was already a legal adult. Still, the association with the Dahmer name brought a level of public scrutiny that would follow her for the rest of her life.

Jeffrey Dahmer was killed by a fellow inmate at the Columbia Correctional Institution in Portage, Wisconsin, on November 28, 1994.

Public Appearances and A Father’s Story

Shari and Lionel made a small number of public appearances in the years following Jeffrey’s arrest and conviction. Most notably, they appeared together on Larry King Live in 2004. During the interview, Shari spoke about Jeffrey’s state of mind after his parents’ divorce and offered her perspective as someone who’d watched the situation unfold from within the family.

Both she and Lionel told Larry King that they were proud of the Dahmer name and had no plans to change it. They also expressed their desire to protect the privacy of David, who had changed his name and built a life far from public view.

Lionel published a memoir called A Father’s Story in 1994, in which he examined his own role as a parent and tried to make sense of what had happened. Shari supported the book’s release, and the memoir offered some insight into her place within the family dynamic. It remains one of the few firsthand accounts from inside the Dahmer household.

Life After Jeffrey’s Crimes

After the initial wave of media attention subsided, Shari and Lionel withdrew from public life. They settled in the Medina County area of Ohio and largely avoided interviews and press inquiries from the 2000s onward.

Living under the Dahmer name came with ongoing challenges. The couple dealt with occasional media resurgences, particularly when documentaries or dramatizations about Jeffrey Dahmer were produced. The 2022 Netflix series Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story reignited widespread public interest, though by that point Shari was in declining health.

Throughout it all, those who knew the couple described Shari as a stabilizing presence in Lionel’s life. She helped him process the grief and guilt that came with being the father of a serial killer, and she maintained a household that functioned despite the extraordinary weight of their family’s history.

Recent Years and Passing

Shari Jordan Dahmer died on January 13, 2023, in Seville, Ohio. She was 81. Her death was not widely reported at the time, in keeping with the low profile she’d maintained for decades. She was cremated, and no public funeral service was held.

Less than a year later, Lionel Dahmer passed away on December 5, 2023, at a hospice in Medina County, Ohio. He was 87. The couple had been married for approximately 44 years at the time of Shari’s death.

Frequently Asked Questions

Who was Shari Jordan?

Shari Jordan, also known as Shari Dahmer, was the second wife of Lionel Dahmer and the stepmother of Jeffrey Dahmer. She married Lionel in 1978 and remained with him until her death in 2023.

When did Shari Jordan die?

Shari died on January 13, 2023, in Seville, Ohio. She was 81 years old at the time of her passing.

Did Shari Jordan have children of her own?

There are no confirmed reports of Shari having biological children. She became stepmother to Lionel’s two sons from his first marriage, Jeffrey and David.

What happened to Lionel Dahmer?

Lionel Dahmer passed away on December 5, 2023, at a hospice in Medina County, Ohio. He was 87 years old and died of natural causes, less than a year after Shari’s death.

Did Shari and Lionel ever appear on TV?

Yes. They appeared on Larry King Live in 2004, where they discussed their experiences as members of the Dahmer family and their decision to keep the family name.

Related Celebrities

• Lionel Dahmer – Shari’s husband and Jeffrey Dahmer’s father
• Joyce Flint – Lionel’s first wife and Jeffrey’s biological mother